I often tell my coaching clients, pain is an inevitable part of life.
Some joke that it s not inevitable and they can just sweep it under the rug, some try to outrun their pain by making their days jam packed with activities, thus leaving no room for the pain to come at them, some just indulge in the ‘sweetness’ of pain.
Whatever the response I see my clients give me when I ask them how do they handle their pain in their lives, I often remind them of one truth: The pain will always catch up to you.
Here is how I see pain in the lives of the people before they come into a coaching relationship with me:
Pain is when someone has lost sight of who they are at the soul level because of past events that caused them to give it up.
Pain is when someone refuses to take heed the callings of the soul to heal themselves and keeps on finding external pathways of ‘enlightenment’ but really those pathways are a fool’s errand because it leads to nowhere. What is even more painful is when this person doubles down and knowingly goes on this fool’s errand just to escape the confrontation of healing their soul wants to offer them.
Pain is when someone allows it to be the sole reason why they don’t want to do better for themselves. When they use their past pain to excuse their present bad behaviours and have a ‘woe-is-me’ mentality to enable to stay the way they are now. And for them to lament on how they cannot change what has happened to them because of the pain that was inflicted on them many moons ago.
But when they eventually seek me out to become the better versions of themselves, it shows me one thing:
They have convinced themselves that they are ready to face their pains head on because they are sick and tired of being controlled by it.
Readiness to face an inner pain is an essential ingredient. Then it begs the question, ‘When do I know when I will be ready? ’
The frustrating answer to that question is,
‘You will be ready when you have finally convinced yourself that you are ready.’
Why is it frustrating?
Because it requires the person to become uncomfortable in the cushions of pain they have grown accustomed to in their lives.
And also because it requires mental, emotional and even sometimes physical effort for them to work out the root issues that is causing them pain in the patterns they have been partaking in for a good part of their lives.
And it usually is when they realise that the effort does not come from me as their mindset coach, one they have paid good money to for them to become their next best selves.
The effort is not a responsibility that I, as their mindset coach, can take on, no matter how much they want me to.
It is a very personal and courageous decision they have to make for themselves to take ownership of what is causing them to go round and round in very unhealthy and unproductive ways.
Then why do people coach with me then? Because I can lay out some pathways for them to see the precious lessons that their past pains want to teach them. Lessons like, ‘You have always been good enough’ in spite of what has happened to you in your life.
What makes me qualified to coach people to see their pain in their lives as a blessing and not a curse?
Because I have done this work in my own life. I have a lived in experience in shifting my own mindset to see the good my past pains have taught me to go to the next best version of myself.
Pain is what creates the momentum for the truth seeker to seek out their own truth within their lost soul connection.
It is the energy that powers their will to seek out what is the better way for them to live their own truth on their own terms.
Pain is what unmasks the charade they have been using to avoid a good, long, lovingly overdue chat with all parts of their soul – the good, the bad and the very ugly.
And if someone is wiling to face their own inner demons, to want to be better for themselves and to not lie to themselves anymore.
Then, they won’t begrudge the pain they have suffered because it is what shaped them to be the person they presently are.
