Entrepreneurship will test you as a person and I mean, it will really test EVERY ASPECT of you as a person.
Your belief systems.
Your self-worth.
The way you see obstacles in your life.
The ways you act out when nothing is going your way.
The ways you either crash and burn or pick yourself up when you have no bloody clue what comes next or even what to do next.
Entrepreneurship is the ultimate test anyone can give to themselves and the fastest way to destroy whatever self-esteem they have left in themselves OR the fastest way to heal from their past and come out of it a stronger, resilient, more balanced individual.
The real question here is : What are you willing to exchange for the new and improved you?
If any entrepreneur tells you that their 5 point plan has worked beautifully, They are liars. All big fat liars out to make a quick buck to sell you a system that they mostly learnt from business books.
The most successful entrepreneurs I have encountered have often said that they would wake up every day and not know what the next step to earning the next big deal is. That they are flying by the seat of their pants and winging it … just like the rest of us.
The only difference between them as entrepreneurs and the person sitting in a cubicle working for an organisation … well besides obviously that the latter does have a foreseeable, stable income and the former doesn’t … is that the entrepreneur is building something that only they can see in their heads and believe in with all of their hearts.
And they know that no one, and I mean no one, will understand why they are so stubbornly addicted to making that vision of theirs come true.
When I first started Mind Evolve, I set out to prove to myself that I can create a business that impacts others in a way that will them find their lost, original core selves (hence using the Enneagram as a framework to help me achieve that), and not be a money-hungry, profit-driven, greedy business owner that is willing to say anything to get people to believe that there are the person who can help them find themselves, but are not willing to walk the talk they are spewing (they call it marketing, I call it lying) because who their business persona is and who they are as a person in most other situations are totally different. (Phew that was a long paragraph.)
But for me instinctually as an Enneagram Two – whose core motivation is to be wanted and appreciated – my lowest denominator of my Two instincts is that I still wanted people to like me (hence my pricing for my services in my earlier years were very, very low) and I wanted validation for my ‘hard work’ (where I would be waiting for people to come and like what I put out in social media and want to immediately work with me). Being liked and externally validated was kryptonite for me as an entrepreneur, and in the early days, it almost killed the business because I wouldn’t have the difficult conversations needed for me to unblock the problem spots that was causing the processes in Mind Evolve from (well) evolving.
To be an entrepreneur means that I couldn’t just stay instinctually as a Two. I needed to see how I could use all the other pathways to the other eight Enneagram Types within me to get over myself and my instinctual way of being.
In other words, I had to face myself and my demons and my past and take a long, really hard look at myself and ask:
‘Am I willing to take a chance on myself?’
Because no one was coming to save me, if I fail, I fail because I stopped myself from doing the things that would help me build something that only I can see in my head and believe in my heart.
To be an entrepreneur means that I had to face the worst parts of myself every single day. The voices in my heart are cruel and unrelenting.
You are not worthy enough.
You are a loser.
You will fail (when I haven’t even tried it yet)
To be an entrepreneur means that I had to also believe in the best parts of myself every single day and believe in the other voice in my heart that said:
You can help others because you have helped yourself first.
The way you connect with people helps them to be feel safe with you and that’s why they can then break through their own false narratives and get closer to getting to know their true, core selves.
The way you coach and train is already unique to you. Stop comparing yourself to others. Concentrate on walking your own path on your own terms.
Being an entrepreneur also means that I can find a safe space for myself to retreat into, where I can allow myself to feel disappointed
when clients leave, when deals fall through,
when collaborators who said they will do something with you for years and just give you breadcrumbs instead,
when the money in the bank falls dangerously low
and yet all I can really fall back on is my belief in the vision I have in my heart and that somehow, I will find ways to make it happen. On my own. And with people who want to come on this journey with me and really put in their own heart and effort into making the work partnership move ahead.
I still have moments when I want to give up. Especially when I am completely emotionally exhausted and I just want to let everything go and just wallow in self-pity.
It just happened two days ago. And it has taken me two days to rest, reassess if this is still something I know I am being called to do, and if the fire of belief in my heart in what I can bring to others through what I offer in Mind Evolve still rings true for me.
I still don’t have the answers.
I still want to control all aspects of what is happening with the business. But the Universe is reminding me that surrender and believing that things will pass and everything will turn out as it should for my highest good, and that I really have to get my head out of my own backside and just concentrate on taking care of myself and taking just the next small step forward. Then the other, then the other.
It also helps that my partner can hold space for me when I am at my lowest and frankly my ugliest self.
There are days when I am flying high, when the money is rolling in and all is going well.
There are days when I feel so lost and exhausted and wondering if I am being delusional.
But every day is a reminder that I can begin again. That I can look at the lessons each painful, ground-levelling episode that has brought me to my knees can teach me about how I can move ahead in another way – usually in ways that I am uncomfortable to move.
And in all ways, going through all these valley moments and my flying in the air moments, make me a better coach, a better trainer and truer person to who I am in all that I do.
So if you want to be an entrepreneur, get ready to meet ALL OF YOU.
